The Value of Connections

As I get older, and there are more demands of everyone’s time, in-person connections have become increasingly valuable. Seeing my friends doesn’t happen often. When it does, I cherish that time together. While we do, at times, sit and text for hours, face-to-face will always be better. The majority of communication is non-verbal. During a texting conversation, all the body language in the delivery and receipt of a message is missing. I could say something that is confusing, but I miss seeing the facial expression on my friend’s face as they read the message. They may or may not ask for clarification which could cause further confusion or future misunderstandings. In person, I would see that they’re confused and be able to clarify right away. There are rare exceptions, and, at times, I find texting to be more useful. My friends like to share music and sending it by text helps me keep track of what they shared as well as build playlists from what they’ve shared. While we do talk about life during these conversations, it’s more about reminiscing about the past and discussing music. We usually don’t talk about the daily grind of life or current issues we’re facing. We listen to and discuss music when we’re together which makes online music sharing times feel very similar to time together.

 

I also give and receive love through spending time with people and touching them. There’s a theory of five love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. I’ve noticed amongst my family and friends this theory holds up. I start feeling like my friends don’t care about me when too much time passes without seeing them. Hugs also make me feel loved. Not being greeted with a hug by a friend feels awkward. Getting a hug when I’m going through a difficult time helps me get through the challenge. However, you have to be in person to give a hug. Sending a hug meme or texting “hugs” is nothing like feeling someone’s arms around me. Hugs, high fives, and fist bumps are all forms of communication through touch. Nothing can replace the deeper connection that comes with in-person communication. I wish it wasn’t as difficult to see friends as we get older, but we make the best of the time we do have together.